Tutorials have started this week, and they have been somewhat manageable. I finally got the EL tutorial slot I desired, and funnily, all my project group mates are non-arts students, except me. It was also the first time I had Amazaki sensei as Japanese language tutor, and his class is quite relaxing, maybe because there are only 8 of us in that tutorial. I also went for my first gamelan tutorial today, and it was really cool! We got to play the instruments, and got into a sort-of mini rehearsal already, practising a simple piece. I had difficulty coordinating my damping movements with my playing. Hopefully as the weeks go by, I will get the hang of it.

Met up with Xiaohan and Sock Mun last night, together with Yingling we went for dinner at Sushi Tei. Glad to know that Xiaohan has been coping well with her work, and Sock Mun is in the midst of preparing for her SEP to China. I talked to XH about the scholarship which Dr Lim has asked me to apply. Thanks for giving me some advice... : )

I realized as I grew up, my self-confidence seemed to have diminished more and more. I remembered when I was in secondary sch and JC, I had the chance to assume leadership roles, make decisions and lead my peers. I was more daring in doing things, and believed in myself more. After I entered university, it seemed to have changed. Or maybe, I have changed. I become less adventurous, and hesitated more when it comes to making decisions. As much as I want to, I can't seem to recover that 'fighting spirit' and self-confidence that I once had in me. Maybe because I have faced more failures and more difficult situations as I entered university. Seems like I can't cope as well as I want to, when I face situations where I have to make pretty major decisions for myself, such as the decision to go study in Japan for a year. I can't believe that I actually have so many worries, so many concerns, and so many fears. What exactly am I afraid of? Is it that if I figure out the source of my fears, I will be able to overcome them and become a better person?

There are so many things I want to say, but it's getting more and more difficult for me to express them. I might write them down here if I do figure them out.