Ramblings.

It's only the first wk of hols, and I'm like, BORED. *yawns* Yeah, I guess my part-time job is the main reason. Even after the stressful period of lectures, projects, essays and exams, I still feel stressed up by other things. Such as?

1. My boring work
Ok, I know this sounds ironic. But the working environment can be quite stifling, actually. And I mean it metaphorically and literally. Because there are no windows in our office. So I don't get to see sunlight at all. Plus the air-con is either spoiled/non-existent because they are using those kind of big metal fans in the office right now. So I practically pore over invoices and more invoices during the working hours, with no natural sunlight and no clean (or at least cool) air. The workload is continuous, so I don't really get to rest. I don't even know if I am able to access the Internet from my desktop. Haha. Pathetic eh? For a $6.50/hr part-time job. My colleagues aren't exactly friendly. I think they are perhaps very preoccupied with their work, and they assume I know what to do all the time. I feel so paiseh having to walk across the office to ask my colleague for instructions/help... =( So that's when I get to use my brain to do work. To figure out how to do those work. Haha.

And when it comes to lunch time, I don't know what's going on. I mean, I don't know if I can just leave for lunch or I gotta wait for them, or what? Cuz my boss said before that usually when everyone goes for lunch I will have to tag along cuz they need to lock up the room. But that situation hasnt happen yet. Sigh. Will see how tmr...

2. SYC
I have been on leave since after the Madrigali concert. That's on 29th Mar. Meaning I have been on leave for about 2 months! Which means I haven't sung for 2 freakin' months. And there'll be a performance coming up on 29th May, and I have the dreadful premonition that I will kena auditions for that. ARGH. It'll be my first time back for tmr's rehearsal... And I'm really getting jittery all about it...

3. SYC trip
Again, I have a bad hunch that I'll be made to 'perform' in front of the choir for fun/entertainment. The members call it the 'orientation'. Yeah... This is bad. I don't sing songs very well in front of others, ESPECIALLY solo. I know this is wierd, cuz being in choirs for so many years, I should at least possess that little stage confidence and the desire to perform in front of others. But unfortunately, that doesn't happen to me AT ALL. It just doesn't. =( I just feel totally out of place and totally un-me. At times like that I just wish I'd vanish into thin air or be swallowed by the ground. That's me.



The only thing which I am really, genuinely and eagerly looking forward to, is my summer program at Kyushu University in Japan. The thought of being able to spend 6 weeks in Japan, studying, making friends, strolling on the streets of Fukuoka and breathing in Japanese air just makes me feel good. I really look forward to going to Japan... How I wish I am able to speak Japanese well! At least confidently enough to converse with the native Japanese. I just want to become part of the society. To work within the country, attend festivals, visit the various onsen ryoukan as we see in Japan Hour, enjoy Japan's nature, immerse in their traditional and popular culture, eat their good food and live the way they live... Even only for 6wks, I think I'll be grateful. =)

And so, to prepare myself for the trip, I have to take up the boring job, so that I can earn some money to buy the stuff I want/need for the trip. And to make my japan trip more worthwhile and rewarding, I have to pull through the choir practices and survive the choir trip. After that, I know I'll definitely enjoy the Japan trip to the fullest... =)