Today...

Have been listening to bossa nova the whole morning. Read National Geographic at the same time too. my parents n my aunt went out already. My bro's on a cycling trip in Johor. So im alone at home now. Im not bored, just lonely. And i can feel my confidence level decreasing at an alarming rate. Decreasing... It's alarming. ha. tsk. I can feel it. That kind of depressing feeling is coming back soon. I cant let it come back. but i cant seem to stop it. I realised it's periodical. Ha. just like my toothache. I just feel very empty inside. most people would ask me to enrich myself spiritually. to keep myself occupied. im. but it's not helping. That kind of feeling where i feel like im slowly decaying and dying inside of me, but outwardly im still vibrant and, living. Like egyptian mummies. they look so good with their golden splendour outside,but actually are decayed and deformed inside. I look ok. sometimes im ok. when i don't look back i thought im ok. i thought i'll be ok. and now i just wonder.